The Nature of Marriage and Families

Sex can be a hard subject for couples to talk about.  This could have started when we we re young .  O ur parents may have treated the subject as taboo. Maybe you we re like me, where you received a book with B irds and B ees on the cover when you turned 12, being told it would answer all your questions.  You may have gotten your parent's non-verb al hint, "don't ask me anything embarrassing, please."   So, we learned about sex from the Hollywood movies, T.V. shows, and the wrong kind of magazines. Learning about sex is paramount to our marital bliss, but the source of that knowledge is even more important.   K NOW GOD ' S PURPOSE FOR SEX In the 1960 book called, You and Your Marriage , President Hugh B. Brown spoke of the importance of learning about sex :     “Thousands of young people come to the marriage altar almost illiterate insofar as this basic and fundamental function is concerned. The sex instinc...

    Just like traffic jams stopping progress on the highway, our relationship can hit gridlock when we can not come to an agreement on an issue.     Thank goodness, Dr. Gottman has found ways to overcome gridlock in our marriage, which he explains in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work .         I have organized a Six Step list from Dr. Gottman's book that will get you back in the fast lane of love. FIRST STEP - Recognize if the issue you and your spouse are having is at gridlock level. (Gottman 237) CHARACTERISTICS OF GRIDLOCK (Gottman 237) 1.  You have the same argument again and again with no resolution. 2.  Neither of you can address the issue with humor, empathy, or affection. 3.  The issue has become increasingly polarized as time goes on. 4.  Compromise seems impossible because it would mean selling out - giving up on important core beliefs, values, or...

Every marriage has conflicts.  Most of these are perpetual problems.  That means they will last the duration of our marriage.    These are core beliefs each spouse has that are different from each other, not likely to change.  These differences are not deal breakers.   The key to a happy marriage is learning how to cope with them.  According to Dr. Gottman of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work , 69% of the conflicts faced in marriage are perpetual. (138)  "When choosing a long-term partner...you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you'll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty, or fifty years." (Gottman 139) "The most common conflicts couples face are money, sex, housework, kids, and work stress." (Gottman 194)   A person may be asking themselves, "Why even get married (or stay married)?  If there is going to be unsolvable problems, why go through the trouble?"...