Consider the Children

By




Marriage is not merely a private arrangement; it is also a complex social institution. Marriage fosters small cooperative unions—also known as stable families—that enable children to thrive, shore up communities, and help family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times. (UofV 2012)

 
  Marriage and Families have been the mainstay of human development from the beginning.  Adam and Eve were commanded to “…leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) “…Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth…” (Genesis 1:28)



  Even though the world is trending away from the values of Marriage and Family, research studies continue to prove there are multiple benefits to being in a Family unit, being lawfully Married to one spouse.



 

“Children growing up with two continuously married parents are less likely than other children to experience a wide range of cognitive, emotional, and social problems, not only during childhood, but also in adulthood
…. Children growing up in a stable, two-parent families have a higher standard of living, receive more cooperative co-parenting, are emotionally closer to both parents (especially fathers), and are subject to fewer stressful events and circumstances.” (Amato 2015)



“Nearly 70 percent of Americans believe the main purpose of marriage is something other than having children” (Hawkins 2010)


  
How can couples stay Married & raise Families in a society that has gone away from child-centeredness?  Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles advised,

“Think first of the children. Because divorce separates the interests of children from the interests of their parents, children are its first victims.
Scholars of family life tell us that the most important cause of the current decline in the well-being of children is the current weakening of marriage, because family instability decreases parental investment in children.
We know that children raised in a single-parent home after divorce have a much higher risk for drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, poor school performance, and various kinds of victimization.” (Oaks 2007)
 
 
If you find yourself contemplating divorce, please stop and consider the children.  Healing can happen in your marriage, but it is so much harder for children to heal from the wounds of a broken family.  Think of your marital troubles in the same way you would think of a broken arm. 

Get it fixed.

Don’t procrastinate the importance of addressing it by waiting around hoping it will get better, or just go away. 

Get it fixed.

Go to the Doctor (the Lord), ask for His healing power of the Atonement.  He will heal your marriage!




 
“If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us.” (Oaks 2007)

 Saving your Marriage ~ 2:14 minute YouTube Video

Start today to heal your Marriage and save your Family.  Here are the keys to healing your Marriage:
 
 Be humble 
Be Forgiving
 Be Best Friends
Be Kind and Considerate
Be Sensitive to Each Others Needs
Always Seek to Make Each Other Happy
Work Together to Regulate Desires for Temporal Things
  Stay Active in Church Attendance
Work on your own Shortcomings
Keep the Commandments
Be Partners in Finances
Read Scriptures  
Be Patient 
Pray 
  (Oaks 2007)


Your children will thank you. 



Work Sited
Amato, Paul R. The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional well-being of the next generation. Future of Children.org. Vol 15. No 2. Fall. 2015.
Hawkins, Alan J. Ooms, Theodora. Marriage & relationship education: a promising strategy for strengthening low-income, vulnerable families. National Healthy Marriage Research Center Washington DC. 2010.
Oak, Dallin H. Divorce. Ensign. May 2007 https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/05/divorce#listen=audio
University of Virginia. The State of our unions. Institute of American Values. Marriage in America. 2012.
MormonChannel. Marriage and Divorce. YouTube. Jul. 2009.
MormonChannel. Saving your marriage. YouTube. Jun. 2012.


 

Comments

Post a Comment

All comments are welcome and will be moderated before posting live, thank you.

Popular posts from this blog

Treating In-Laws like Family, not Out-Laws

By
Image
Every Parent's dream is to see their child grow up, find a wonderful person to marry, and have a successful union.  What they might not dream of, is the possible conflict that comes with adding a new family member (from a different family background) to a family with already established rules and expectations.  It is the parent's job to help this new family unit feel supported and loved as they learn to negotiate their relationships between both the families they were raised in. "Wise parents, whose children have left to start their own families, realize their family role still continues, not in a realm of domination, control, regulation, supervision, or imposition, but in love, concern, and encouragement." (Harper 327) Past Prophet Spencer W. Kimball Past Prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Spencer W. Kimball, says there can be trouble in a new marriage if the couple doesn't learn how to "cleave unto" each...
Read more

7 Communication No-Nos if You Want to Stay Married

By
Image
This week we are studying the famous relationship expert, Dr. John M. Gottman.  In his New York Times Bestseller, "the Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work"  he says he can predict if a couple is going to divorce by how they speak to each other. I supposed he wanted to start off his book with these negative communication styles so a person can QUIT doing them ASAP.   I have made a list with some of his communications styles we should avoid.   This is not all of them.  If you want to know all his ideas I would read his book.   It is insightful. 7 Communication No-Nos if You Want to stay Married . 1 - The Harsh Start-Up - Dr. Gottman says if a discussion starts out harshly it is not going to be a successful discussion. "Don't lead off a discussion with criticism, sarcasm, or any form of contempt."  Dr. Gottman calls the next 4 on this list "the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" because if they are used often in your communication sty...
Read more

Sex as God Intended It

By
Image
Sex can be a hard subject for couples to talk about.  This could have started when we we re young .  O ur parents may have treated the subject as taboo. Maybe you we re like me, where you received a book with B irds and B ees on the cover when you turned 12, being told it would answer all your questions.  You may have gotten your parent's non-verb al hint, "don't ask me anything embarrassing, please."   So, we learned about sex from the Hollywood movies, T.V. shows, and the wrong kind of magazines. Learning about sex is paramount to our marital bliss, but the source of that knowledge is even more important.   K NOW GOD ' S PURPOSE FOR SEX In the 1960 book called, You and Your Marriage , President Hugh B. Brown spoke of the importance of learning about sex :     “Thousands of young people come to the marriage altar almost illiterate insofar as this basic and fundamental function is concerned. The sex instinc...
Read more