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Overcoming Gridlock in Your Marriage

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Just like traffic jams stopping progress on the highway, our relationship can hit gridlock when we can not come to an agreement on an issue.   Thank goodness, Dr. Gottman has found ways to overcome gridlock in our marriage, which he explains in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.  I have organized a Six Step list from Dr. Gottman's book that will get you back in the fast lane of love.
FIRST STEP - Recognize if the issue you and your spouse are having is at gridlock level. (Gottman 237)CHARACTERISTICS OF GRIDLOCK(Gottman 237)

1.  You have the same argument again and again with no resolution.

2.  Neither of you can address the issue with humor, empathy, or affection.

3.  The issue has become increasingly polarized as time goes on.

4.  Compromise seems impossible because it would mean selling out - giving up on important core beliefs, values, or sense of self.  (Gottman 237) 


"You don't have to solve the problem to get past gridlock.  Neither of you has to "…