Consider the Children
Marriage is not merely a private arrangement; it is also a complex social institution. Marriage fosters small cooperative unions—also known as stable families—that enable children to thrive, shore up communities, and help family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times. (UofV 2012)
Marriage and Families have been the mainstay of human development from the beginning. Adam and Eve were commanded to “…leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) “…Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth…” (Genesis 1:28)
Even though the world is trending away from the values of Marriage and Family, research studies continue to prove there are multiple benefits to being in a Family unit, being lawfully Married to one spouse.
“Children growing up with two continuously married parents are less likely than other children to experience a wide range of cognitive, emotional, and social problems, not only during childhood, but also in adulthood
…. Children growing up in a stable, two-parent families have a higher standard of living, receive more cooperative co-parenting, are emotionally closer to both parents (especially fathers), and are subject to fewer stressful events and circumstances.” (Amato 2015)
“Nearly 70 percent of Americans believe the main purpose of marriage is something other than having children” (Hawkins 2010)
How can couples stay Married & raise Families in a society that has gone away from child-centeredness? Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles advised,
“Think first of the children. Because divorce separates the interests of children from the interests of their parents, children are its first victims.
Scholars of family life tell us that the most important cause of the current decline in the well-being of children is the current weakening of marriage, because family instability decreases parental investment in children.
We know that children raised in a single-parent home after divorce have a much higher risk for drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, poor school performance, and various kinds of victimization.” (Oaks 2007)
If you find yourself contemplating divorce, please stop and consider the children. Healing can happen in your marriage, but it is so much harder for children to heal from the wounds of a broken family. Think of your marital troubles in the same way you would think of a broken arm.
Get it fixed.
Don’t procrastinate the importance of addressing it by waiting around hoping it will get better, or just go away.
Get it fixed.
Go to the Doctor (the Lord), ask for His healing power of the Atonement. He will heal your marriage!
“If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us.” (Oaks 2007)
Start today to heal your Marriage and save your Family. Here are the keys to healing your Marriage:
Be Best Friends
Be Kind and Considerate
Be Sensitive to Each Others Needs
Always Seek to Make Each Other Happy
Work Together to Regulate Desires for Temporal ThingsStay Active in Church Attendance
Work on your own Shortcomings
Keep the Commandments
Be Partners in Finances
Your children will thank you.
Amato, Paul R. The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional well-being of the next generation. Future of Children.org. Vol 15. No 2. Fall. 2015.
Hawkins, Alan J. Ooms, Theodora. Marriage & relationship education: a promising strategy for strengthening low-income, vulnerable families. National Healthy Marriage Research Center Washington DC. 2010.
Oak, Dallin H. Divorce. Ensign. May 2007 https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/05/divorce#listen=audio
University of Virginia. The State of our unions. Institute of American Values. Marriage in America. 2012.
MormonChannel. Marriage and Divorce. YouTube. Jul. 2009.
MormonChannel. Saving your marriage. YouTube. Jun. 2012.