United We Stand in Marriage, Families, Communites, the World, and with God

 Humans are made to be united with each other.  United as families at birth, in marriage, in our communities, our world, and with God.  It is a natural desire and need, this belongingness with others.

 According to Psychologists Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary, "The 'belongingness hypothesis' states that people have a basic psychological need to feel closely connected to others, and that caring, affectionate bonds from close relationships are a major part of human behavior." (Selterman 2012)  This is why a person rarely feels satisfied in a state of singleness or isolation.  We need to be united with others. 

First counselor of the Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Henry B. Eyring, said it is a divinely given desire from God,  "He placed in men and women from the beginning a desire to be joined together as man and wife forever to dwell in families in a perfect, righteous union." (Eyring 1)

"...the creation of man and woman, unity for them in marriage was not given as hope, it was a command! 'Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh' (Gen. 2:24). Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity." (Eyring 1)


We all feel the natural pull toward this honorable goal, divine goal even.  Yet, some of us struggle with finding "the one" to marry or struggle with staying united to "the one" once we have married.  We may struggle with being united with our spiritual brothers and sisters (after all, we are all children of God).  The real struggle is in ourselves.  

President Eyring tells us we have to have our natures changed in order for it to be possible to be united.  Through the Savior we can feel that joy of belongingness with our spouse, families, communities, the world, and God.


1. Following the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Following and obeying the commandments of God will help us become one with our spouse and loved ones faster than any self help book or counseling sessions.  Try it, you will become a believer. 

Howard Lyon - I am a Child of God
"Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 18:3 KJV 
Holy Bible


2. Keep the Holy Ghost with you.  Do all you can to refrain from offending the Holy Ghost.  He will sanctify you:

"Where people have that Spirit with them, we may expect harmony. The Spirit puts the testimony of truth in our hearts, which unifies those who share that testimony. The Spirit of God never generates contention (see 3 Ne.11:29). It never generates the feelings of distinctions between people which lead to strife (see Joseph F.Smith, Gospel Doctrine,13th ed. [1963], 131). It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union with others. It unifies souls. A unified family, a unified Church, and a world at peace depend on unified souls." (Eyring 2)

3.  Put God first.  Always remember Him. We do this by praying often and repenting often. 

Greg Olsen - Forgiving
"When the feelings of forgiveness and peace come, we remember His patience and His endless love. That remembering fills our hearts with love." (Eyring 2)


4.  Take the Sacrament to Keep His Commandments. 

Simon Dewey - Jesus breaking bread

Past LDS President, J. Reuben Clark Jr. (1871-1961), 
"...pled—as he did many times—for unity... [he] warned us against being selective in what we will obey. He put it this way: 'The Lord has given us nothing that is useless or unnecessary. He has filled the Scriptures with the things which we should do in order that we may gain salvation.'”
President Clark also said, “When we partake of the Sacrament we covenant to obey and keep his commandments. There are no exceptions. There are no distinctions, no differences” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1955, 10–11). (Eyring 3)

5.  Be humble, submit to God's will in all things. 

"It is our surrender to the authority of Jesus Christ which will allow us to be bound as families, as a Church, and as the children of our Heavenly Father." (Eyring 3)


6. Have faith in your Lord your Savior.  With our faith in the Savior we will have the ability to ignore offenses against us, being less likely to feel offended. We will look at the positive in others instead of the negative. (Eyring 3) Faith allows us to believe in ourselves and others as we believe in God.
Simon Dewey - The Savior washing the feet of His Apostles
7. Speak Kind Words.  The things we say have far reaching effects, even if we are only saying them in our head.  Speak and think well of others and yourself. 

8.  Rebuke those who speak contemptuously of sacred things, but do it with love. This means being true to God and helping others do the same.  In a world where we may be persecuted for standing up to God's commandments we will need courage.  Courage and Love. 

"An inspired, loving rebuke can be an invitation to unity. Failure to give it when moved upon by the Holy Ghost will lead to discord." (Eyring 3)


9. Forgive others, bear no malice. 

"The Apostle Paul was telling us how to love in a world of imperfect people, including ourselves, when he said..." (Eyring 3)

"...the gift of unity will come through obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ. When we keep our covenants to take His name upon us, to remember Him always, and to keep all His commandments, we will receive the companionship of His Spirit.  That will soften our hearts and unite us." (Eyring 3)

Imagine a world where everyone practiced these 9 steps.  We would find unity with all those we cherish and love, and most especially with our Father in Heaven.  It would be a world of happily united families, communities, countries, and a peace-filled world.  Remember, we are all brothers and sisters through GodYou can choose to make unity your reality starting today. You can feel the joy of belonging to those you love and cherish and they can feel united with you. 

God Bless You - Holly Jo 

Work Cited

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.

Eyring, Henry B. That we may be one. Ensign. May 1998. Web. 

Selterman, Dylan. The need to "belong": part of what makes us human. Science of Relationships. Apr 2012. Web. Accessed 05 July 2017. http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2012/4/16/the-need-to-belong-part-of-what-makes-us-human.html


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